It is an lost art. That being said let me consider something I have been told (by a student of mine), supposedly works like a charm. “You’re hot! You want to …. (do the squelchy)?” I would ask, that you keep this “complement-like” statement in mind while reading the rest of the posts.
I think that there are several things vital to be consider when approaching the delicate topic of compliments. The simplest being a complete purity of intention. It is crucial to have a very clear understanding why you are giving the compliment. What would you consider a satisfactory reaction? Although most might not agree with your reasons or thinking, you have to be convinced that what your saying, is needed to be said.
You ought to be honest and believe in what you are saying. Lying should not take a place ever. Why would you even bother? I am put in the position where my judgement is being questions and I will get to it last. Bottom line, as long as you’re honest with yourself and believe in what you are saying, the opinions of others about your compliments should never be acknowledged by you.
The following is the one thing everyone should understand about compliments, the quint essence of the art if you like. A compliment is a simple message were all and every part of it is completely visible, yet what is visible is not what should matter. The mastery is to weave the absolute visibility of words within the delicate pattern of the subtext.
If you like talking to somebody what would be a subtle way you would let them know that? There is the body language and the way you speak. It is important how you mix the message in between lines of text that carries all the “juice”. Saying “I like talking to you…” sounds like an excuse for inability in communicating. I give people compliments when I like interacting with them.
Unfortunately, I get questioned. A blush became a rare reaction, now everyone is looking for what is not there, because it is impossible to just be nice. I like talking to you, I compliment, the rest of the office thinks that we are sleeping together. Cool, but so untrue. I stopped correcting people, makes it easy to strain the simpleminded ones.
Maybe to avoid that simple (barbaric) conclusions, I should use compliments like the one above. Intentions are clear, probably honest (desperate?) and I could weave in the fact that I will provide breakfast and couple bucks for the taxi… I feel sad for people that do not try to understand the art.